The Black Sheep

After returning from the funeral, I am renewed in my feelings that things are as they should be. While some of the family (see below) were falling all over themselves in, what was considered by some of us, a show, my parents were a firm rock for my grandmother, and my sister and her family were right there with me in my feelings about everything, so we remembered Grandpa well, discussing things like how much he would have loved running all the lights in the procession and whatnot.

My mother has two younger sisters and a younger brother (the youngest). The second oldest sister, “D,” is what, without a doubt in any family, you would consider the black sheep. And of course, black sheep seem to beget black sheep. I believe she got a little mixed up in the hippy movement, got herself pregnant, and then married the father, some hick from Texas. D had her first daughter, “LD,” (only about six years older than my uncle, my mother’s younger brother) and a second, “RL” shortly thereafter, both of which the father molested, and then she had a son, “R,” about 7 years later, shortly before smart people figured out what was happening and the father got sent to jail for a long time. LD took care of R and my aunt sent RL to live with my grandmother and grandfather. D later married a “preacher” (with a juvenile delinquent, adopted son), who got his “doctorate” (from a very unaccredited college), and started his own “theological institute” (I think I use this term most loosely of all). L is now 34, weighs over 300 lbs and has the cholesterol problems of 60 year old, and has one son from a divorce who has some severe discipline problems. RL is by far the most normal one since she spent her younger years with some better parents, but even she has one daughter from a divorce. R got married about two years ago, had a son about 1 year ago, and has since had him taken away by Social Services for severe neglect; he also has gained about 200 lbs since I last saw him (putting him around 375). None of these people, except perhaps RL, have kept a real (i.e. money-making) job for any amount of time; they make their way through life living hand-to-mouth, and leach off of the generosity of others whenever humanly possible.

So the real question of this blog is one that my good friend Swinder has brought up – do the black sheep know that they are the black sheep? By all action I can only assume they do not. R and his wife spent a good amount of time discussing their son and how wonderful he is and all the cute things he does, all while they no longer even have custody of him. R’s wife even had the gall, the first time I introduced myself and my wife, to make an offhand comment about us not attending their wedding. Hello! Your entire family didn’t come to our wedding when it was only a state away, and you expect us to travel over 1000 miles to yours when we are just starting out after college? I had to flee from D’s husband, as after our first couple encounters I was forced into lengthy dialog about the huge success of his “Bible college” (yes, even that is a broad stretch), and how cool their website is (he knows I’m a computer guy). And my wife had to endure LD’s 5-year-old little angel pushing around my niece of 3 and cousin that just learned to walk in the nursery because LD didn’t want to chase him around at the funeral service. But how can (or why will) they not see the successes of their siblings and wonder why they have made life so difficult for themselves? Are they so egocentric that they can’t see? Or is it just a huge compounding of bad mistakes made earlier in life that they no longer have control over? And how is it that one child out of four can be so off the deep end? Is it more incomprehensible that under the same basic conditions, one child can turn out so differently or that any of our children can turn out normally in the humanism of today’s society? It’s one of the main things that scares me about having children.

Oh, and by the way, for $50, I will provide you an honorary doctorate* of “Life Skills” from FU (that is the University of the Fountain; no expletives were used). I, Ecthelion of the Fountain, will personally sign each degree, and will deliver it directly to your door (well, your mailbox).

*doctorate is not accredited by any governing body whatsoever, but it is pretty